Bernardinho Palace Since 20th August 1987

2005-09-29T12:10:00.000-07:00

2 FACED..
Oh, oh, twisted and deceitful
All those 2 faced people
Taking me for some kind of fool.
Oh, oh, pretending to be so nice
Let me give you my advice
I don't need you, ooh...
Friends in disguise
Dressed up in lies
It's a knack that you're playing.
Oh, oh, first you recognise me
Then you criticise me
What's going on?
Stop your bitching'
cos you're so sad
Bitching behind my back
Honey, I don't need that
So kick it to the kerb because
I heard you're 2 faced
Trying to get in my PLACE
I WORK too hard to make mistakes
So stop your bitching on me.
Oh, oh, they're so narrow minded,Truth is so one sided
They're just counterfeit.
Oh, oh, hot and cold you're blowing,
Sheep in wolves clothing
Who are you trying to kid-id?
2 faced people are so shallow
Put YOURSELF in my place
Oh, oh, the fairy tells you're spinning
Sounding so convincing
But I'm ALL a loss so...
Stop your bitching
'cos you're so sad
Bitching behind my back
Honey, I don't need that
So kick it to the kerb because
I heard you're 2 faced
Trying to get in my PLACE
I WORK too hard to make mistakes
So stop your bitching on me.
Poison words are spoken
My faith in you is broken
But I'll make it on my own.
Ow, ow, twisted and deceitful
All those 2 faced people
Taking me for some kind of fool
Ow, ow, they're so narrow minded,
Truth is so one sided,
But honey you rock. (so)
Stop you're bitching'
cos you're so sad
Bitching behind my back
Honey, I don't need that
So kick it to the kerb because
I heard you're 2 faced
Trying to get in my face
Worked too hard to make mistakes
So stop your bitching on me.
'cos you're so sad
Bitching behind my back
Honey, I don't need that
So kick it to the ker because
I heard you're 2 faced
Trying to get in my face
Worked too hard to make mistakes
So stop your bitching on me.
Stop this hyprocrisy AND CRITICIZING me
Cos I don't wanna be
With 2 faced people, yeah

2005-08-25T08:20:00.000-07:00

THAT crazed girl improvising her music.

Her poetry, dancing upon the shore,

Her soul in division from itself

Climbing, falling She knew not where,

Hiding amid the cargo of a steamship,

Her knee-cap broken, that girl I declare

A beautiful lofty thing, or a thing

Heroically lost, heroically found.

No matter what disaster occurred

She stood in desperate music wound,

Wound, wound, and she made in her triumph

Where the bales and the baskets lay

No common intelligible sound

But sang, "O sea-starved, hungry sea.'

2005-08-25T08:19:00.000-07:00

The gentle hum of machines filled the airAs she gently held his hand for the final time.A tender kiss she placed upon his withered cheek.He was but a shadow of the man she once had known.
His final hour was fast approachingFor the hand of death was looming near.A time now to say one final "I love you".A chance to say one last "Good-bye."
Memories of their life passes vividly through her mind.Happy times of a childhood filled with love from him.Ice cream cones, camping trips, a shared love of art.A tearful smile crept to her face as he opened his eyes.
A smile adorned his face in seeing her.Even Death cannot conceal his love.His breath grows incessantly stolen.A tear slips silently down her cheek as he says his last "Good-bye."

2005-07-09T07:43:00.000-07:00

it's been a long time since you last told me your favorite fairy tale. i thought for a long time, i started to think if i did anything wrong!

you came to me with tears, saying that fairy's fake and i cant be your own prince charming! maybe you didnt know,when you say the three words " I LOVE YOU" my whole sky was brighten with stars.

i can become that angel that exist in your favorite fairy tale. spread out my arms like wings to protect you. you must believe that we can both exist in this fairy tale. with a nice happy ending!

2005-07-05T06:20:00.000-07:00

I fell loved when everyone doesn't seem to move ard me! hahaz.. ST WHAT? ST WHAT? ST ANTHONY'S!! you can nv doubt our abilities man!! we're the best!! hahaz!! ok lahz!! nearly!! cannot brag lahz.. later some "jealous you know who" ppl who cant stand success start their major work. oh wells, it's a great experience to win the third place. i learn that we should nv take anything for granted! i missed a pentalty!! the feeling was like the same as the other day!! but i got over it fast!! hahaz!!

it's been super long since i last blogged!! i think i'm whooper busy man!! i'm quitting soccer le.. too much competition in school!! then somemore like so boring!! this week i have been almost everywhere lehz!! especially when they para-sailing part. spend like $80 lo.. but it lasted. photos and photos and even more of it lo!! hahaz.. so bu yao lian de.. as what RONG RONG WILL SAY!!

my class is super fun!! i see sheila almost everyday! but want to say hi but like dunno lahz! she's like so unapproachable de!! dun blame me kkz? hahaz! working soon at venture era!! haiz! bored!! i hope i achieve something!! when i get a car, i think i'll make you my first passenger!! i hope! hahaz.. of course!! laughs~

bdae's coming but tghere isn't any need to be happy!! hopefully carlyn's feeling better, she's not too happy too. i'm jus pretending to be!! wa lau.. then i came online after like so long to find out that so many thigns happened lo.. no one want to confront me. but they like to use their mouth!! gosh~ haiya, keep it there!! yes yes i will!!

take my hand and nv let me go!! lalalala! i hear her say this and i'm like shocked!! how can? hahaz!! i laughed it off!! it shouldn't be.. hahahz.. national day going off again!! so zang!! dunno where now!! seemly alot of rubbish is being typed out cos i'm in a midst of a very confused period!! hahaz.. ppl i talk to become ppl i think twice!! what's wrong with me? i think something's wrong!! hahaz!!

i wanna cry.. haiz!! reali.. but i find too many shoulders ard me!! they all looked at me with a sneer!! in the end i shed not a tear but fight this feeling off!!

ying, manda, vien~ very depressed.. help me!! if i can jus be with you all there to comfort me, i wouldn't mind! i nv felt so lost b4!!

-.-!!! oh wells, nothing to prove!!

2005-05-17T04:42:00.000-07:00

cool(:

2005-05-11T07:05:00.000-07:00

when i need you, you're almost here!! -----> the song that is currently the best duet i heard so far. i know how to play that song man!! -yay- jus need ppl to sing along. -laughs-

STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN -------> someone should learn to sing this song.. it's whooper nice. hahaz. thought i only know the intro a lil due to some obession!! It's reali nice to play this song. but difficult lahz.

wonderful tonight!! ------> it's like a love story lo.. i mean i can make it into a love story. hahaz. due to a lil genius work from bout me and my buddy larris (who underwent a series of torture) we changed almost every single lyrics. ALMOST!! here's how it goes. sing to it's tune!!

We started as strangers.
with different paths in life.
to meet is a mystery.
become friends a blessing.
and then i found out.
as i moved on with life.
that is when i figured.
you're the one i'm waiting for.

we went on our first date.
to a place where the stars all shine.
walking by the beach.
together hand in hand.
and then she ask me.
how do i feel tonight.
and i said " darling!! i feel wonderful tonight!"

i feel wonderful.
because i see the love light in your eyes
and the wonder of it all
is that you just dont realise
how much i love you.

Then it's late in the evening.
she's wondering what clothes to wear.
she puts on her make-up.
she brushes her long black hair.
then she ask me.
do i look alright??
and i say YES! you look wonderful tonight!!

we go to a party.
where everyone turns to see.
this beautiful lady.
that is walking around with me.
and then she ask me.
do i feel alright.
and i say YES!! i feel wonderful tonight!!

it's time to go home now.
i'm having an aching head.
so i gave her my car keys.
she helps to bed.
and then i told her.
as i turned out the lights.
and i said " darling, you were wonderful tonight!!"
oh my darling, you were wonderful tonight.

____________________________________________________________________

2005-05-11T06:22:00.000-07:00

this is larris liew!! My Best Buddy !!

2005-05-06T21:12:00.000-07:00

our -yay- group. continued!! This is the brotherhood picture. hahaz. hahaz. like some gangster theme like that. -grins- our -yay- group includes many ppl you know? Ahn Kiat, Biswas, Larris, Jeremy, Anthony, Keith and many many more. so those in KFC and EDC erm.. sorry to wake you up from ya dream. but face reality please?? no more actings. hahahaz. if anyone's wondering where we learn all this poses from, hahaz. it's from my sister. since then, everyone's like this. hahaz. funny?

Went for a check up today. dunno what the heck went wrong for my last. must go blood marrow test all siah. imagine a thick needle going into your wrist. -gosh- i screamed lo. it hurts you know. biting my shirt. as they drained the blood, i felt very cold. it went into this special looking machine and then later, they stick another needle into my other hand. now i'm reali almost to tears. it hurts terribly. thankfully, the concern look on your face that i imagined comforted me. left wrist blood came out. right wrist blood came in. -ouch- all this is done after they took several small containers of my blood. haiz. something must be wrong with me man. all these blood. hahaz.

went to meet jeremy and keith after that. hahaz. went to library to study with the yay group. i studied a maths till like almost dead. dun understand a shit so instead, read books that we took. tintin. hahaz.before that we met larris at burger king, ate long john. had a very funny encounter in the library. hahaz. this stupid guy lo. keep disturbing us. hahaz. saw a gal that looked like keith's cousin also. she's kinda cute though. guess she spotted us staring at her. so cheekly i gave her a reassuring smile. -shocked- i didnt know this was called flirting. hahaz.

went to causeway for dinner after that with the yayyies. hahaz. went to pasta mania then stand there before going to burger king to eat. hahaz. then went jalan jalan. go disturb ppl in the lift all. hahaz. larris got scolded by the girl though. we all jus laugh. hahaz.

went for the novena to the holy spirit. what uncle tim told us was equally shocking. nv fully trust a preach on what he says as jesus have already warned us that in life, there'll be many ppl bearing my name claiming to be me that will surface with all kinds of different situation. you must know how dicern between the right and wrong and not listen blindly. scary man!! but after much discussion, it is said that given time you'll understand. so i guess i'm still a naive small boy. hahaz.

that's all for now. TE QUIERO MUCHO!!

2005-05-06T20:34:00.001-07:00

This is Larissa!! ok i'm supposed to talk bout her but i cant help noticing that my eyes were kinda close!! DamN!! hahaz. WELL, she likes that colour green. green here green that green green everywhere!! wahaha!! known her for like a long time ago. only the name though. which means i knew her only like almost 2years? this is despite the fact that we're in the same cat class since who knows when!! hahaz. she's one girl who always has surprises up her sleeves. nv will she fail to keep your life occupied or the scares she gives you now and then. HeRe's to a LifeTime of Friendship!! TE QUIERO MUCHO!!

2005-05-06T20:34:00.000-07:00

My Dear Rong Rong, my schoolmate, my partner in crime!! hahaz. hahaz. we had a lot of difficultly taking a picture together!! hahaz. i'm either too tall or my neck something wrong. dunno why horz? hahaz. neway we're on the train, she 's going to town while me? going to work!! she's one kind soul that loan me all her a maths stuff. then so lor sor also. this cannot that cannot hahaz. everything also cannot horz? so caring bout me. ask me study hard all.. mad huh? hahaz. i LOVE to make FUN of her. hahaz. i look forward to our time in SP. LOVE YA LOTS!!

2005-04-28T08:06:00.000-07:00

As you can see, this is my hand. my hand that is designed by someone? it's called henna!! a whole ten bucks for it man!! lucky it looks nice. hahaz. did it with my mum, aunty dot, aunty martha. hahaz.

neway, gave my first guitar lessons today. it's kinda funny. i dunno where to start. lucky my tudi didnt make me too embarrassed!! :) hahaz. she's quite a fast learner too. hahaz. i enjoyed myself though. looking forward to the next lesson. hahaz.

neway i saw something on someone's nick today. dunno whether i should ask her anyway. dunno if anything is going on. hahaz. guess there might be but oh wells.. hahaz. hahahaz.. but i doubt so!! supposed to have confidence.

guess this is it. will update on any short comings. hahaz.
i'm MISSING whoever i'm supposed to MISS. I'm also LOVING whoever i'm supposed to LOVE!
TE QUIERO MUCHO!!

2005-04-25T20:12:00.000-07:00

lalalalas.. hahaz. here i am again. lazying ard when i'm supposed to do work like serving ppl. but got free wireless internet. how tempting can that be? hahaz.i've already gotten ready for school. which is superly cool.. hahaz. though i'm stil confused bout some stuff, i'm getting a hang outta it. hahaz. guitar is getting better i guess. alot of nice songs seemed to be coming outta nowhere. still need to practice the it's all about you though. must get the hang of it right? hahaz.

neway yesterday i went plaza sing!! the company was great lo. i guess it was the best. hahaz. i still think it can be better though. hahaz. it's up to us right? hehez. but still msg half way then nv heard from you le.. -blehz- hahaz.

going to SINGAPORE POLY today!! for some maths stuff. haiz. maths maths maths. hhahahahahaz.!!!??!! dunno why i so happy also. hehez. i'm missing everyone i'm supposed to miss.

~^pRiNcEsS^~ - yes yes.. i miss you too.. i wanna meet ya too.. how how how?? hahahaz. i jus cant wait to see ya you know? hahaz. the excitement of you bringing my mood sky high is gonna be fun. hahaz. hahaz. take care though. endure.. love ya lots!!

2005-04-22T08:55:00.000-07:00

Me & my darling Sister, oh oh.. aren't we jus cute?? hahaz!!

2005-04-22T08:54:00.000-07:00

WE MADE IT!! we're on the summit of MOUNT OPHIR!!

2005-04-21T20:53:00.000-07:00

it's all abt you, it's all bout you!! lalalala!! hahaz. this song is getting nicer every minute. -laughs- violin lesssons are difficult!! damn!! it's like so complicated lo. oh well, must endure!! i can do it!! -yay-

got my pay man.. $405..plus commission.. hahaz. guess i might still have a lil extra to treat ya sushi. -calling the sushi partners- hahaz. went shopping for my sister's bdae present. in the end bought shoes for myself. total90 black de.. not out yet in singapore but i dunno how i got it. it's damn nice lo. too bad my size is 7. if not we can share right? hahaz. it costs like $60. then while walking, i saw a damn nice jacket. who might have thought i bought it too. hahaz. $60 gone again. first time in history i have spend so much on myself already. then walking past this flower shop thingy. then i thought of someone who has been down lately. i sent it to your office horz!! did it cheer ya up?? i wonder!! it costs like $85. haiz. is it worth it? hahaz. anyway, i also bought a digital camera. $699 siah!! but lucky, pay in installments. 5.0 mega pixels ,man!! siao right? $55 every month. should be ok if i keep saving. bought an ipod mini also for $499. $38 every month. which makes $93 per month. i think i'm going to die. hopefully i can manage. hahaz. all the expenditure for this month reali sucks lo. haiz. sharing it with my sister. so it's ok i guess. mayb she'll hep me with payent too. hahaz.

neway, gonna end soon. haiz. till then.

it's all abt you!! te quiero mucho!!

2005-04-19T08:53:00.000-07:00

it's disappearing... somebody!! give that sun a float!! hahaz. SO NICE!!!

2005-04-19T08:51:00.000-07:00

it's a B.E.A.U.TIFUL sunset!! i jus lurveeee it. i wanna feel the way i feel when i'm with you!! hahaz!!

2005-04-19T08:50:00.000-07:00

MooDy!! hahaz!! what to do?? it was so boring!! haiz!!

2005-04-19T08:49:00.000-07:00

Three Different hair styles!! can you guess which is me? hehe!!

2005-04-19T08:48:00.000-07:00

Me , Terence , Yuan Boon , at the entrance of a bridge!! hahaz.

2005-04-19T08:46:00.000-07:00

Bird Alert!! A very birdie experience!! hahaz!

2005-04-19T08:44:00.000-07:00

This is me on the sentosa bus staring at soemthing!! gosh!!

2005-04-17T08:12:00.000-07:00

suddenly i'm in love with this song. and suddenly, i learn how to play this song. then suddenly everyone wants to learn this song. hahaz. -hi5's- we're all same! hehez. My angel has the title as her nick. anthony has it on his nick. i have it on my nick. hahaz. coincidence? hehez. guess not! wheeez!!

today is the happiest day of my life. hahaz. first of all, she finally replied my msg!?! hahaz. i have so wanted to talk to her for these many months. finally i got one msg across. yay!! hahaz. then i have got dart competition. hahaz. my god!! i have nv played this before in my entire life. but i played darts? hahaz. jared and myself pro man! hahaz. i'm happy for ourselves. hahaz. then larris, jared and myself play "it's all about you" on guitar!! lalala!! the tune's stuck in my head!! hahaz. but it's a catchy tune. thenw e went burger king eat!! wa lau.. my ez-link card dunno go where le. hahaz. so need ,my sister to buy it for me. hahaz.then we went for conclave! wa lau... so lil youths only man.. talk about youths going>?? hahaz. that's it for forst impression. hahaz.

-in father's office- laughter was the main ingredients. hahaz. today will be the last week for anyone who is going after a girl or is with a girl to kiss and say goodbye!! that's damn funny!! we all laughed at it. till he said we'll be outta the servers. hahaz. so yup. i totally agree with father! then the talk on pornography and masturbation!! need table tennis bat all siah!! damn funny.. then priscilla came in suddenly. we all laughed again. ahhahaahahahahaz.!!!!

well well well... hahaz. i think that's all for this very beloved day. hahaz.

it's all abt you. te quiero mucho!! muaacckkz!!

2005-04-17T08:01:00.000-07:00

It's all about you (it's all bout you)
It's all about you baby (it's all about)
It's all about you (it's all bout you)
Ít's All about you

Yesterday you asked me
Something I thought
you knew
So I told you with a smile
It's all about you

Then you whispered in my ear
And you told me too
Said you make my life worthwhile
It's all about you

And I would answer all your wishes
If you asked me to
But if you deny me one of your kisses
Don't know what I'd do
So hold me close and
Say three words like you used to do
Dancing on the kitchen tiles It's all about you

(music inturlude)

And I would answer all your wishes
If you asked me to
But if you deny me one of your kisses
Don't know what I'd do
So hold me close and
Say three words like you used to do

Dancing on the kitchen tiles
Yes you make my life worthwhile
So I told you with a smile
It's all about you

It's all about you (it's all bout you)
It's all about you baby (it's all about)
It's all about you (it's all bout you)
It's all about you baby (it's all about)
It's all about you (it's all bout you)
It's all about you baby (it's all about)
It's all about you (it's all bout you)
It's all about you, It's all about you

2005-04-14T03:32:00.000-07:00

I guess some day i'm going to prove you wrong. and when i do, it'll be a hell of an experience for you. keep talking bout me. i would care. the day will come where i prove you wrong. then ppl will know you are talking rubbish. jus dun give me the chance to prove you wrong that's it. let's jus wait and see ok? i can ensure you, i'll bring it to the end. hahaz. but it's quite bad also since we're all a whole but it takes a mistake to know a lesson. so BEAT IT!

neway, the SPC is doing fine. our hard work is running smoothly. not that i want to be proud and declare it my idea, i should reali admire the things samuel does. especially when dealing with ppl whom only rubbish comes out of the mouth. samuel's idea of starting the SPC is working amazing.i guess it's time they take over stuff. but still ppl will nv want to listen. arhz! hahaz. the sec 3's are damn fun to be with. it'll be our loss to lose any of them from the servers. but what to do? outside influence is always better. hahaz.

haven been wearing my ALB for almost two weeks le. hahaz. well least i have an ALB. but i wonder what does it mean? i get the respect and badmouthing at the back. what the hell. hahaz. haiya. forget it. hahaz.

hmmm, acupuncture today was kinda retarded. i twisted and turn everytime a needle came in contact with my skin. hahaz.my toes are freezing. hahaz. the air con is getting too cold for me. work was terrible though. i dropped a plate on one of my customer. lucky she said it's ok. if not, there goes my pay man. it was damn comical. i saw her at the station again and she said, "hahaz! i dunno ya name but i sure remember that you're the guy who dropped the plate on me. hahaz!" well, she sure knows how to start a conversation. from city hall to jurong, i knew where she stay le. bukit batok. she is in NYGH. she's taking her o's this year. that's like so cool. ask why she didnt go school today, she say she sick. what a liar. hahaz. oh well, a total stranger!! didnt get her number though. would be betraying my inner self. hahaz. the heart is willing but the flesh is weak. or it it the other way round? hahaz. whatever man!

2005-04-12T23:52:00.000-07:00

Remember when, we never needed each other
The best of friends like
Sister and Brother
We understood, we'd never be,
Alone
Those days are gone, and I want so much
The night is long and I need your touch
Don't know what to say
I never meant to feel this way
Don't want to be
Alone tonight

[chorus:]
What can I do, to make you mine
Falling so hard so fast this time
What did I say, what did you do?
How did I fall in love with you?
I hear your voice
And I start to tremble
Brings back the child that, I resemble
I cannot pretend, that we can still be friends
Don't want to be,
Alone tonight

[chorus:]
What can I do, to make you mine
Falling so hard so fast this time
What did I say, what did you do?
How did I fall in love with you?

[Bridge:]
Oh I want to say this right
And it has to be tonight
Just need you to know, oh yeah
I don't want to live this life
I don't want to say goodbye
With you I wanna spend
The rest of my life

[chorus:]
What can I do, to make you mine
Falling so hard so fast this time
What did I say, what did you do?
How did I fall in love with you?
What can I do, to make you mine
Falling so hard so fast this time
Everything's changed, we never knew
How did I fall,
in love ,
with you?

2005-04-11T06:27:00.000-07:00

~^AnGeL^~ - LoNg LoSt WiFe!! hahaz. where got long lost? jus that we didnt see each other for 16days to be exact. It's not that long but mayb i'm kinda like pining for ya. hahaz. muggin must be tiring for you. i wish i could help ease that burden.but i'm reali sorry. hmm.. i'm looking forward to meeting ya though. yes? hehez. i forgot to tell you bout my funny dream. will tell ya soon yeah? hehez. LOve Ya! muaacckks!

~^ChAmUeL^~ - you've been reali patient. i respect that. hahaz. i told you bout what i know already. i hope this will work things out. yeah? sorry!

~^TeReSa^~ - Have i neglected you long? i'm reali sorry. i know i've made a deal with ya bout not neglecting you. i'm reali sorry. jus that i have been busy, jumping from place to place. hahaz. i'm disappointed to announce also that i actually didnt miss you. but i do think of you. i see our mag and i actually think of our past. hahaz. oh wells. i know you're still looking. but i'm still waiting. i'm reali sorry.

~^LiEw, Ng, Ang, Mark^~ - thank you for your help today. reali appreciate it. sory if i was harsh too.hahaz.lol. our friday movie will still be on eh?

i'm reali sorry for the out burst but you're getting on my nerves. the fact that you disrespect samuel means you disrespect me. the more you disrespect him the more you disrespect me. the fact that i'm sometimes tough is because of ppl like you. you shouldn't talk so much when you dun play a part. especially talking abt what other ppl do.you are a BIG TURN OFF!! i'm reali glad i can take it in my stride. i guess it's time for you to go. and you know it. dun sit behind the chair and give a nice show with ppl backing you up thinking you're sfae. it's time to go. not that i want to. but for the benefit of everyone i ought you to go. before something nasty ever happens.

neway, i spologise for my closed up behavior. hahaz. give me time. i'll be different. i just hope i dun do so much till you dunno who i am. hahaz. te quiero mucho!!

2005-04-09T10:16:00.000-07:00

~^ScUmBag^~ - if you're reading this, stop whatever you're doing ok? stop this nonsense bout me bout the servers ok? i'm a server too. do your bad mouthing somewhere. dun think ppl dun know what you're talking abt ok? you wish to talk bout anyone, talk bout yourself. you dun have to speak ill of ppl ard you and make thing bad for yourself. you're not getting any support if you notice. but well, i'm dun care. i have nv care. it'll be a while till i'm gone. so dun worry. alright?

2005-04-07T01:23:00.000-07:00

The Wedding Date is funny. captivating. but i cant say the same for the company i had with me. i got so many questions to ask. so many things to tell you. so many but i dunno when i see you, it jus died down. like everything i wanna do jus went phoop!! disappeared!! i think you might say the same for me. i mean it's not like the last time. you're no longer treating me the normal way you treat others. i see you speaking to ppl freely, but to me, everything seems withdrawn. i wonder what did i do to deserve this. but i cant ask that much. we're supposed to be something special that day but i reali couldn't do anything. i wonder if you actually knew i gave you my new number. but it's no difference. hahaz. i need someone to talk to. someone to confine in. everyone seems missing. especially you. you told me that you'll still be there if i ever need you. but you are not. you lied. but i dont blame you. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

i'm so sick.. fever adding a lil cough.. maybe a few headaches. i cant stand it man. i was jus telling my angel to take care of herself when i suddenly got struck down by this unexpected flu. it reali could have killed me.

~^RoNg RoNg^~ - your methods arent working you know? hahaz. but i think your concerns are working well. hahaz. i didnt mean to go into the train wet and drenched. it's jus that i was rushing. that ice cube thingy? i'm sorry to say i too lazy to do that. hahaz. forgive me! your concerns reali sometimes bring me out of my misery. but you so lazy. i'm having second thoughts whether to listen to ya. hahaz. i spoke to Pretty Pretty Alvina online. it's kinda like awkward. cos i dunno her. but she likes the straight forwardness. like my words. sometimes too cruel but i speak the truth. hahaz. you pink pig. hahaz.

~^Ng, Lo, Yeo^~ - next next wednesday ok? we will prevail against the brothers. especially brother cocky. hahaz. he played damn good that day lo. OUCH!! hahaz. i was sick so couldn't play properly. Sorry. but it's nice seeing you all getting scolded by the OR PER. hahahaz. damn funny. but lloking forward to our jerseys. and our next soccer match. LOVE YA!

~^AnGeL^~ - wei wei, it's like forever sonce i last saw you. haiz. hahaz. ya mom smiled to me last saturday. hahaz. your brother ask me to help him cos he's been chased ard by some girls. hahaz. coincidence? hahaz. i was listening this song. "in the arms of an angel, fly away from here" i reali hope to disappear fromt his place. maybe for a while i also happy. hahaz. i'm learnign to play beautiful soul on guitar. when i know i teach you kkz? hahaz. Te Quiero Mucho!

2005-04-03T08:20:00.000-07:00

We were strangers, starting out on a journey
Never dreaming, what we'd have to go through
Now here we are, I'm suddenly standing
At the beginning with you

No one told me, I was going to find you
Unexpected, what you did to my heart
When I lost hope
You were there to remind me
This is the start*

And life is a road and I wanna keep goin
'Love is a river I wanna keep flowin
'Life is a road now and forever wonderful journey
I'll be there when the world stops turning
I'll be there when the storm is through
In the end I want to be standing
At the beginning with you

We were strangers, on a crazy adventure
Never dreaming, how our dreams would come true
Now here we stand, unafraid of the future
At the beginning with you

Knew there was somebody somewhere
I need love in the dark
Now I know my dream will live on
I've been waiting so long
Nothing is going to tear us apart

Life is a road and I wanna keep goin
'Love is a river I wanna keep flowin
'Starting out on a journey
In the end I want to be standing
At the beginningWith you

2005-04-03T07:38:00.000-07:00

The World falls to it's knees at the death of our holy father, Pope john paul the 2nd.

"holy father" the pope assistance asks once!

no answer from the pope.

"holy father" the cardinal asks second!

no answer from our holy father.

"your holiness" the bishops asks lastly.

no answer from the man lying on his bed.

Everyone in the room knelt down for a moment of silence.
some with tears streaming down their cheeks. `
this is the custom of the vatican.
The Pope's aide will call his name three times.
The Pope who will already be in heaven will not answer.
with that, they say a prayer before removing his rings.
The rings are then taken to be smashed into bits before remaking a new one for the new pope.
after everything is settled, the news will be announced that our pope has passed.

2005-03-31T05:16:00.000-08:00

He's fought and he's fallen
He's on his knees before he's on his feet
A sinister romantic
Oh, he's about to be and she's about to see

Teachin' torches to burn bright
She's hanging on the cheek of night
A snowy dove trooping with crows
He never saw true beauty till tonight

She'll take him to the brink of deliverance
Show him that much
Oh, don't you know it
Oh, don't you know it
So he falls in love to feel that he's falling
She'll let him know his heart
Oh, don't you know it
Oh, don't you know it
That's Shakespeare in love

He's fought and he's fallen
He's on his knees before he's on his feet
A glittery romantic
Oh, he's about to be and she's about to see

His bounty's boundless like the sea
His love is endless, just as deep
The more he gives the more he has
`Cause both of them are truly infinite

She'll take him to the brink of deliverance
Show him that much
Oh, don't you know it
Oh, don't you know it
So he falls in love to feel that he's falling
She'll let him know his heart
Oh, don't you know it
Oh, don't you know it
That's Shakespeare in love
That's Shakespeare in love

A sinister romantic
He's on his knees before he's on his feet

She'll take him to the brink of deliverance
Show him that much
Oh, don't you know it
Oh, don't you know it
So he falls in love to feel that he's falling
She'll let him know his heart
Oh, don't you know it
Oh, don't you know it
She'll take him to the brink of deliverance
Show him that much
Oh, don't you know it
Oh, don't you know it

That's Shakespeare in love
That's Shakespeare in love
That's Shakespeare in love

2005-03-31T05:09:00.000-08:00

Where you are seems to be

As far as an eternity

Outstretched arms open hearts

And if it never ends then when do we start?

I'll never leave you behind

Or treat you unkind

I know you understand

And with a tear in my eye

Give me the sweetest goodbye

That I ever did receive

Pushing forward and arching back

Bring me closer to heart attack

Say goodbye and just fly away

When you comebackI have some things to say

How does it feel to know you never have to be alone

When you get home

There must be someplace here that only you and I could go

So I can show you how I?

Dream away everyday

Try so hard to disregard

The rhythm of the rain that drops

And coincides with the beating of my heart

I'll never leave you behind

Or treat you unkind

I know you understand

And with a tear in my eye

Give me the sweetest goodbye

That I ever did receive

Pushing forward and arching back

Bring me closer to heart attack

Say goodbye and just fly away

When you comeback

I have some things to say

How does it feel to know you never have to be alone

When you get home

There must be someplace here that only you and I could go

So I can show you how I feel

2005-03-31T05:07:00.000-08:00

If I be so inclinded to climb up inside you would you tell me that the time just isn't right?
And if I ever find the key you hide so well,
will you tell me that I can spend the night?
Leaving your smell on my coat
Leaving your taste on my shoulder
I still fail to understand what it is about this woman
Yeah, Oh Woh, woh woh
If I could bottle up the chills you give me, I would keep them in a jar next to my bed.
And if I should ever draw a picture of a woman, it is you that would come flowing from my pen, yeah
Leaving your clothes on the floor
Making me walk out the door and
I still fail to understand what it is about this woman
Oooo, oh
Helplessly melting as I stand next to the sun and as she burned me, I am screaming out for more.
Drink every drop of liquid heat that I've become, pop me open spit me out onto the floor.
Leaving your smell on my coat
Leaving your taste on my shoulder
I still fail to understand what it is about this woman
Leaving your smell on my coat
(Leaving your smell on my coat)
Leaving your taste on my shoulder
(Leaving your taste on my shoulder)
I still fail to understand what it is about this woman

Yeah

2005-03-31T04:37:00.000-08:00

REMY BURGERS!! 1 FOR $2.50!! WOW!! imagine the amount of money they can make?

- grins- this stall gave me a light bulb. whooo!! sorry fellas!! the deal bout the haunted house isn't going to work out. my apologies for not enduring the lecture.

this is not workin out well for me. hahahaz. all the fun i'm having. isn't reali going well. the idea that wardens are going for a mount ohpir trip doesnt seem to register in my head right now. hahahaz. but i'll love to follow. but as they say, they're jus talking only.

ahhh, cant wait for school. to think i actually miss school. working and bumming together doesn't mix well you see. hahaz. the stitches on my foot is taken out. yup. happy? nahz. i feel much cared upon with my feet. hahahaz.

my handphone two year plan up le.. how how? no phone line now. how? but how would someone miss me? if it reminds me of my past? hahaz. i guess if i actually change my number, only mayb a few ppl will want to know. so be it. careful they sell shirts that says, " he made me change my number" hahahaz..

DAmmit!! Rui en is damn hot in person!! how old is she? double damn!! i'm a small boy to her. hahahaz. for me who sweats in the palms when approaching someone i didnt know, i actually smiled to her.. gorgous!! how lil secret distance relationship. hahahaz

buenas noches comiendo moviendo ducha banarse tomar una ducha andale pues te amo hay problema me veo bien hasta luego especialmente parati te quiero mucho parati um beso tu espanol - these are spanish words which took me like a year to actually master it.. from goodbye to hello to how's life.. but i still dunno the word you!! laughs. i'm kinda crazy. taking a foreign language in this crazy world. well i am. i want to charm my friends with the way i speak. it needs patience. time also. hahahaz.

BIRDIE NUM NUM~~!!! stupid name for a stupid bird!! wahahaha

catch me if you can!!

loves!!

2005-03-30T21:23:00.000-08:00

I'm coming out of my cage
And I’ve been doing just fine
Gotta gotta gotta be down
Because I want it all
It started out with a kiss
How did it end up like this
It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss
Now I’m falling asleep
And she’s calling a cab
While he’s having a smoke
And she’s taking a drag
Now they’re going to bed
And my stomach is sick
And it’s all in my head
But she’s touching his—chest
Now, he takes off her dress
Now, let me go

I just can’t look its killing me
And taking control
Jealousy, turning saints into the sea
Swimming through sick lullabies
Choking on your alibis
But it’s just the price I pay
Destiny is calling me
Open up my eager eyes
‘Cause I’m Mr Brightside

I’m coming out of my cage
And I’ve been doing just fine
Gotta gotta gotta be down
Because I want it allIt started out with a kiss
How did it end up like thisIt was only a kiss, it was only a kiss
Now I’m falling asleepAnd she’s calling a cab
While he’s having a smoke
And she’s taking a drag
Now they’re going to bed
And my stomach is sick
And it’s all in my head
But she’s touching his—chest
Now, he takes off her dress
Now, let me go

I just can’t look its killing me
And taking control
Jealousy, turning saints into the sea
Swimming through sick lullabies
Choking on your alibi
But it’s just the price I pay
Destiny is calling me
Open up my eager eyes
‘Cause I’m Mr Brightside

I never...I never...I never...

2005-03-30T21:12:00.000-08:00

shuo bu shang wei shen me

wo bian de hen zhu dong

re ai shang yi ge ren

shen me dou hui zhi de qu zuo

wo xiang da sheng shun bu

dui ni yi yi bu she

lian ge bi ling ju dou cai dao wo xian zai de gan shao

he bian de feng, zai chui zhe tou fa, piao dong

qian zhe ni de shou, yi zhen mo ming gan dong

wo xiang dai ni hui wo de wai po jia

yi qi, kan zhe ri luo, yi zhi dao wo men dou shui jiao

wo xiang jiu zhe yang qian zhe ni de shou bu fang kai

hai neng bu neng gou yung yuan dan chun mei you bei ai

wo, xiang dai ni qi dan che

wo, xiang he ni kan bang qiu

xiang zhe yang mei dan you chang zhe ge yi zhi zou

wo xiang jiu zhe yang qian zhe ni de shou bu fang kai

hai ke bu ke yi jian jian dan dan mei you shang hai

ni, kao zhe wo de jian pang

ni, zai wo xiong kou shui jiao

xiang zhe yang de sheng huo wo ai ni, ni ai wo

2005-03-29T04:53:00.000-08:00

I could well be a God sent angel, but every now and then, the demon in me emmerse to the surface. Its most visible when I attempt to strike a vengenace. Most of the times, I don't carry them out, (please believe me!) but mere evil thoughts/plans show that Satan is at work. "I got hurt, n that person who causes it needs to know exactly how it felt".Its rather shocking to discover that sucha simple yet damaging idea could ever exist in a mind of an "angel". Then, perhaps rather than being an angel, I am in fact a demon at heart. "..... like a villain with a smiling cheek, a goodly apple rotten at the heart." (The Merchant of Venice, I:3) It'd then be ironic for a destructive demon to save the world. Then maybe God has really sent me down to earth specificly for a character change. My constant quest for knowledge of psychology/psychotherapy could really be to tame my evil soul rather than other's.

2005-03-29T04:44:00.000-08:00

If my sky should fall

Would you even call?

I've opened up my heart

I never want to part

I'm giving you the ball

When I look in your eyes

I can feel the butterflies

I'll love you when your blue

But tell me darling true

What am I to you?

the cross was done for us. the cross was done by us.

2005-03-27T07:19:00.000-08:00

i think in a two way situation, the cross which hung our savior was done both by us and for us. it's hard to actually think things needs to be solve in a violent way. the way i treated jesus during the play amde me think, back then, 2000years ago, how did jesus felt? ppl cursed me when i spitted at him. how how?

maundy thursday - this day was like the worst day of my life. haiz. the whole of mass is screwed up. everything wasn't doned according to plan. but it turned out well anyway.was quite glad.

good friday - had the passion of christ play in two churches. holy spirit and st anthony's. reali emotional the play. hahaz.

holy saturday - we're doing everything in the rain. my god!! i'm so drench.. because of it, i'm sick now. having flu.

buddies!!!

2005-03-27T06:45:00.000-08:00

Angel (lao po) - i'm reali sorry i called you and told you bout him.. forgive me kkz? hahaz.. well, hahaz. we're not supposed to tell anyone we're eloping. hehez. seriously, i think i sent a msg that said mostly guys who goes overseas gets questioned when coming back.. that was how the husband and wife thingy came along. hahahaz. today marks our anniversary yeah? almost a year since we knew each other. though i'm not the best you have, it was the best i could give you. reali contented that you actually took time to talk and sometimes even helping me to get over boredom.well, as for the laughing part, hahaz. i cant believe i made you laugh so much. hahaz. how's brother in law? hehez. spoke to ya mom today anyway.. she seems relunctant. hahahaz. oh wells, how was my announcements today? sawadi ka!! wahahaha!!learn from me yeah? hahhaahhaz.

Princess - i'm so glad you came to watch the play. against all odds you actually turned up. i'm very happy. love love love love you!!! hahahaz.. when's our dinner date? i'll surely make it a unforgetable wan. hahahz. i'm thinking bout first time when we first met. how did it happened? how come that meeting made us the way we are today? hahaz. thinking back, i realised that much we actually went thru. competitions where you will get us all scared cos of your whining. also how we can actually comfort you when you cry. how you laugh and spill coke all over my shirt. my new white P.E shirt. how we joke about fries being right up ya nose. many many many other stuff. hahahaz. do you remember? tell me if you do kkz? we'll laugh bout it all over again. hehez. you like my hair huh? wow!! you know? you're the first to actually say that? so sweet of you!! -kisses-

Darling - i miss you so much!! i jus cant stand it anymore. i dunno why but i guess this is good for us yeah? you wont be happy spending time with me. i guess going different ways is reali what we're supposed to go. it's quite difficult trying to do this but i'm reali trying. you already did it. so i hoped you're happy. i appreciate the things you done for me and mayb someday you'll see the things i do too. jus take care and have fun. i'll still be here if you ever need. but well, i dunno how long i'll last. but i assure you that the fire is still brightly lit until mayb you put it out and cast me out of your island.

Rong Rong, did i ignore you? i'm reali sorry. hahahaz. we watched two movies together only. so sad right? went out twice only. right? hahahaz. thks for the support you gave me for my play. sorry also if i have neglected you these few days. isn't the me but i'm reali sorry. i'll make it up ok? yeah? neway, i think we have an awkward first meeting. the shy shy kind? dun dare say hi, dun dare approach each other de. hahaz. neway, i haven seen you wearing the cap i got you. nor have you cooked for me. basket!! everytime ask me eat maggie. want me bald huh? you will bear seeing me bald? wahahaha. till next time. love ya lots!!!

stupid monkey - did i ignore you? hahahaz. sorry bout all the msg i ignore. my phone reminds me of my past. so yup. been putting it aside for quite sometime. sorry yeah? tell me bout your trip sometime. sorry for being too busy. i'l still not forget you. hahahaz. love!!

Boo Hoo!!

2005-03-21T18:52:00.000-08:00

Jeremy Jeremy.. why so angry?? like i said, being angry stops your journey in life.. take it, move on and have fun.. you didnt do anything wrong.. it wasn't directed to you.. you're a good friend.. i like that.. but this kinda things i urged you not to get involved.. dun make it your problem.. yeah? i know you know what respect means. i've been with you that long. you ought to know. therefore, let them experience it. ok?

Ann Kiat arhz, stupid you!! weakling lehz.. like that also kenna stomach problem.you know what's been happening yeah? please help me!! make me laugh more. but still, dun neglect ya duties ok? especially ya studies. dun neglect them. always be prepared!! yeah?

Larris, you siao izzit? tell you dun come late once still come late.. want a beating huh? want me to slap you? hahaz.. oh wells, you better try not to be late again. i dun like it ok? if you are late.. inform me or something. dun jus step into church and say sorry?? ok?? learn!! it'll be time you take over ok? whatever i did wrong dun follow. whatever i did right, follow. ok? use your brains!! hahaz!!

Biswas, i'm surely reali going to kill you. fromyoung tell you things always act blur.. aiyo.. haiya. dun disappoint me horz? ok ?

I had a long long talk!! you're right!! i shouldn't be in this situation when things like this happened.it's not my fault that you want to ignore me. it's your own. hmm, mayb you're jus being naive. or mayb i am. but i'm not the one ignoring. so yup!! your call!! like the phrase says, when the night is the darkest, the dawn is nearing!! so i jus have to wait. yeah yeah yeah!! i like hearing what ppl say but i dun believe then till i hear from you. i'm nv a person who seeks a third opinion. i have a spine you know? to make my decisions and do things the way i want it. you dun like it. tell me. dun tell the whole bloody world bout it? but who's to balme when ppl cant control the mouth like me? who says things directly instead of beating ard the bush? virtue is it's own reward. a house divided against itself cannot stand. respect given is respect gained. you dun ask for it you know? you let it come to you. being a leader doesn't also mean you have to be elder. but even if you're elder, you should go down to the same level and interact. dun be stuck up there. but i cant tell you what to do. you're not that approachable already. not even the ppl close to you. the influence is spreading. i'm still watching and still thinking.

oh wells, being happy is good. happy.. sha lalala.. hahaz.. darling princess!!! finally i get a closeness talk with ya? hahahaz.. i miss you.. alot.. hahahhaz... many many many loves for you.. i'll see ya on good friday kkz? this kinda of things usually exist in school i'm surprised you came all out..hahahaz.. oh wells, i gtg..

love ya lots!!

The Three Days

2005-03-18T16:42:00.000-08:00

yippe.. finally.. i'm back.. hahaz.. got my ankle swollen though.. maybe all that gung ho jumping had it swollen. well, it's fun man!! i reali wished you'll here with me right now. the summit was great if only you can see it. yup. i'm going to the sinseh today i supposed. later got youth council meeting. maybe after that. waiting for my sister to bathe now. taking whooper long. i think i'm going to be late for the palms thingy. die!! i always trust not to be late but here i am today, a contestant of a latecomer. hahaz. christie msged me like yesterday night. too tired to reply her msg lahz. hahaz. the climb up the mountain was seriously mind taking but everyone managed to the summit. happy!!!!! i saw cheryl, glenda, kenny and a few others. all of my juniors. hahaha. had fun talking to them while climbing.. BISWAS!!! you joker.. make me laugh like a mad dog. SEAN!! you made my heart skip one beat with the near death experience. LARRIS!!! you entertainer.. reali look forward to a leader like you next time. hahaha. ANN KIAT!!! how many overseas friends have we made so far? hahahz. wherever we go whatever we do, we start a conversation with ppl we dunno. hahaz. guess that's jus us. all the fun making reali reduces the stress in me. guess i'm not going to stop my life jus for some minor problems. this is way better than last time.hmmm, special thks to BUNNY,CHARLES, MARCO, MANDA, DREY, LEX, GEN, and all the others who had helped out with the tents. GOD BLESS YOU GUYS!! hahahahhaz

yippe.. lying on my bed last night waiting for my mom to come home from work.. but dozed off b4 i could see her.. hahaz.. my dad scolding me on my neglection of myself. HELLO!! i was having fun.. hahahahahahhahz.. who cares what happens!! my darling angel worried bout me i think. hahahaz. i miss her but she say she miss me more than i miss her?? -bleh- you cant teach me how to dance le.. my ankles swollen. hahahz. but i can teach you guitar though. yippee.. dun be ignorant of my actions ok? dun disappoint me like how some ppl did. you know me for long enough kkz? yup? hahahaz. i think that's all for now.. JEREMY!!! DINESH!!! HEAR ME ROAR!! hahahahaz.

the whole week!

2005-03-15T08:02:00.000-08:00

hmm, monday i was supposed to be in this camp grandma told me to go. but decided that mayb i should attend the ophir trip briefing incase i forget some stuff.oh well, this few days not enough slp man. so many things to settle. my school, and so many other stuff. church been killing my brain cells. wa.... least i'm happy with myself bahz yeah?hahaz.thks for the support you give me anyway.

so now it's tuesday, went ubin with dunman secondary. jude and mac is damn funny. i'm a lone station master!! well, i managed. thks to alot of things. wahaha. the weather was one thing. me getting ready for ophir trip. wow! hahaz. i had lotsa fun with candice man. she wore this hockey shirt i saw laurie wore once. thought she knew laurie. wasted. it's her sister's school. wheez. aiyo, saturday must cut palms lehz. let me guess!! for palm sunday? -so clever- neway, been helping all these years already.. quite fun hearing the ouchs and eekz everytime someone carries the palms. hahaz.

hmm.. it's 20 days already. it's kinda difficult for me to actually count down to that day but i'm trying to yeah? mayb you'll know but not care. yup. neway. some kinda propaganda been spreading fast lately. heard frm a certain few ppl that i'm sheltered under a protective cover always. not daring to come out? hahaz. alright then. i'll try to come out if it's true. hahaz. praise the lord for all the crazy things ppl tell me. thks. this is not a hypocite's way of thks. yeah? i'm jus living how my life should be. i'm sorry if i've upsetted a certain ppl. especially you. i have no grudges, i dun hold hate. friends are forever what are brothers and sisters then? mayb you'll look at this and say, " a liar lying" oh wells, i dun have to answer anything if that is stuck in your head. i jus have to say mayb it's time to look at yourself rather than me.

alright alright!! happy go lucky!! hahaz!! i dun like being angry. happy is what i like. yup. "i walk a lonely road" blah blah blah.. i know how to play that song. welcome to my life!! yeah!! i just wanna live!! woohoo!! my dearest angel, i bet yawl jealous? hahaz. too bad i lack a good tutor.

oh wells, finally.. a lil secret to share?? i'm removing that stupid piece of metal i my leg already. it's time. hahaz. i need your encouragement. i need you so i can confide in. now you're gone, i look ard finding a good buddy. i found two i called sisters and one i call my brother. i still catch no sight of you? when will you come into the picture? hahaz. oh well, it's late.. may those going mount ophir reach the summit. we can do it. hahaz.

LOVE LOVE LOVE!!

A youth leader anyone?

2005-03-08T00:21:00.000-08:00

well well well, first time in my life i raised my voice against an elder which i'm not supposed to. but being a youth leader is all bout being listened to am i not right? oh well, i know my intentions very well, jus as father said, ppl who try to bring you down have no sense of fulfillment themselves. i realised this is very true. servers have been there. servers do almost everything that youths cant do. where are youths when there is a clearing up to do? a question put forward by a ministry. well, we are the youths. the familiar faces who do hard work but still get critisized for not helping others.

servers have two obligations. for the lit ministry. and for the youths. so many things, so lil time. do i need to ans your question? father asks! which is reali very true. oh well, take things at a time. dun care who's asking the question. you know yourself.i hereby urged all pp to take a look at themselves b4 coming to a conclusion bout something. ppl who lack fulfillment in something. ppl who are listless and ppl who are empty vessels.

o's results out le.. i'm quite satisfied but alot of things are beyond my control now.so many meetings with father. but i jus cant seem to know what's going on. i'm on the right track but i'm aimless.hahahahaz. kenna knock in the head all.

ophir trainings is very easy nowadays. yup. i'm very sure i can make it. i'll jus have to give encouragement to ppl who cant. pat mike says i'm in charge of the trip up there. what the hell. there're ppl older than me. let them get the blame. why me? i guess i jus have that fire and passion that no one else has. who can blame me, someone who do well academically and still have leadership qualities.but being someone not into violence and scoldings, i wonder what can i do. mayb leave scoldings to jill, lectures to sheila, the forcing to whoever wants it. but will they be happy? oh well, an evolution is going to take place. when it does, no one will like it.. especialy in me.

wa... write so long le... should take a break. orhz orhz le.. ahhahahahahahaz... take care man!!

2005-03-04T08:26:00.000-08:00

Outside the maelstrom howled.

Branches shattered and were flung to the ground.

Others shook in rabid cycles, marionettes of nature.

Huge droplets of life buzzed through the air like locusts.

The sky was a sea of churning grey.

Inside the tv bathed the room in its soft glow.

Hot, stale air seeped from the vents in the wall.

Carrying along the aroma of hot broth which lingered in the air.

From inside the box of wires and tubes.

Came soothing voices that numbed the whirling thoughts.

And the darkness was deep and complete.

He's pretty cute

Thought the girl at the bar.

She smiled at him, and he returned the favor.

A crooked grin below sapphire eyes.

They gleamed, as if burning with fever.

Crisp clothes, silky hair, witty banter.

Offers were made.

And accepted.

Screams bouncing from the soundproofed walls.

Once he began the world melted away.

And all would be bright and hot and crimson.

On this plane HE was God.

A God of Chaos and random.

Death was his gift to give.It was the only escape.

He only hoped his eyes would not betray his true mind.

Until it was too late.

FEVER!!!

2005-03-04T08:12:00.000-08:00

Never know how much I love you, never know how much I care

When you put your arms around me, I get a fever that's so hard to bear

You give me fever - when you kiss me, fever when you hold me tight

Fever - in the the morning, fever all through the night.

Sun lights up the daytime, moon lights up the night

I light up when you call my name, and you know I'm gonna treat you right

You give me fever - when you kiss me, fever when you hold me tight

Fever - in the the morning, fever all through the night.

Everybody's got the fever, that is something you all know

Fever isn't such a new thing, fever started long ago.

Romeo loved Juliet, Juliet she felt the same

When he put his arms around her, he said "Julie baby you're my flame"

Thou givest fever, when we kisseth, fever with thy flaming youth

Fever - I'm afire, fever yea I burn forsooth.

Captain Smith and Pocahontas had a very mad affair

When her Daddy tried to kill him, she said "Daddy-O don't you dare"

Give me fever - with his kisses, fever when he holds me tight

Fever - I'm his Missus, Oh daddy won't you treat him right.

Now you've listened to my story, here's the point I have made:

Chicks were born to give you fever, be it Fahrenheit or Centigrade

They give you fever - when you kiss them, fever if you live and learn

Fever - till you sizzle, what a lovely way to burn.

What a lovely way to burn.

2005-02-27T21:39:00.000-08:00

Results will be out in like half an hour...how how how?? i'm so afraid.. there is pressure from everyone. my parents, father terence.. ppl i know.. sometimes i regret knowing too many ppl.i dunno what to do if i didnt perform. my dad will send me to aussie.. then i'll be all alone there. teresa wont be there already.. i'll like be alone. no one to talk too. haiz!!how how how?

wanna watch white noise!! reali.. but still you know ppl dun wan to watch with me? haiz!! double haiz!! oh wells!! hahahahahahaz..my leg hurts.injured by that goondu samuel. oh well.. what to do? hahahahhahahahahahahaz....

i learn many new songs le.. YEAH!!!!!! hahahahahaz.. i'm learnign save the last dance for me.. it's quite simple but need alot of practice eh?neway i'm off le.. take care..

Save tHe Last DAnce For ME!

2005-02-27T21:29:00.000-08:00

You can dance-every dance with the guy

Who gives you the eye,let him hold you tight

You can smile-every smile for the man

Who held your hand neath the candle light

But don't forget who's takin' you home

And in whose arms you're gonna be

So darlin' save the last dance for me

Oh I know that the musics fine

Like sparklin' wine,go and have your fun

Laugh and sing,but while we're apart

Don't give your heart to anyone

But don't forget who's takin' you home

And in whose arms you're gonna be

So darlin' save the last dance for me

Baby don't you know I love you so

Can't you feel it when we touch

I will never never let you go

I love you oh so much

You can dance,go and carry onTill the night is gone

And it's time to goIf he asks if you're all alone

Can he take you home,you must tell him no

'Cause don't forget who's taking you home

And in whose arms you're gonna be

So darling,save the last dance for me

'Cause don't forget who's taking you home

And in whose arms you're gonna be

So darling,save the last dance for me

Save the last dance for me

Save the last dance for me.

2005-02-24T05:09:00.000-08:00

There is a reason for everthing, a time for every occupation under heaven:

A time for giving birth, a time for dying;
A time for planting, a time for uprooting what has been planted;
A time for killing, a time for healing;
A time for knocking down, a time for building;
A time for tears a time for laughter;
A time for mourning, a time for dancing;
A time for throwing stones away, a time for gathering them up;
A time for embracing, a time to refrain from embracing;
A time for searching, a time fo losing;
A time for keeping a time for throwing away;
A time for tearing, a time for sewing;
A time for keeping silent, a time for speaking;
A time for loving, a time for hating;
A time for war, a time for peace.

What does a man gain for the efforts he makes? I comtemplate the task that god gives mankind to labour at. All that he does is apt for its time; but though he has permitted man to consider time in its wholeness, a man cannot comprehend the work of god from beginning to end.

2005-02-20T23:51:00.000-08:00

Am i that stupid? i do ask myself this question. why am i waiting for someone who feigned ignorance of my existance everytime i'm there? i cant help her but others can. i cant be there while others can. where am i in your life? am i at the foot of your high mountain or at the summit with the others. you might not feel this way but i do. am i not good enough? what do you expect of me? what do you want? i find this very hard. put the kisses for show, the meetings that are not looked forward to. i dunno what is wrong. mayb it's me. it must be.

the whole week is making me tensed!! results coming out soon. brother val's ordination, and so many other things. oh wells, i'll die doing the things i do now. i'm in need of companionship. Lucky i got my angel to accompany thru sometimes. dunno why we have this telepathy that one of us has this problem and suddenly, we'll talk. so cool. how i wih of this with her.

guitar is getting tedious. i'm learning as many songs as i can. are you gonna be my girl, welcome to my life, perfect, some other songs. so feast day can play. that roy arhz.. hahaz.. currently proud of myself. i'm getting old, tired. i hope for you to be happy! -smiles-

2005-02-20T23:49:00.000-08:00

Pencil marks on a wall, I wasn’t always this tall

You scattered some monsters from beneath my bed.

You watched my team win, and watched my team lose

Watches when my bicycle went down again.

When I was weak, unable to speak, still I could call you by name

And I said Elbow Healer, Super Hero, come if you can.

You said, I am.Only sixteen, life is so mean

What kind of curfew’s at 10 pm?

You saw my mistakes and watched my heart break

Hears when I said I’d never love again

When I was weak, unable to speak, still I could call you by name And I said Heartache Healer, Secret keeper, be my best Friend

You said, I am.You saw my wear white by pale candle light

I said ‘forever’ to what lies ahead

Two kids and a dream, with kids that can scream

Too much it might seem when it is at 2 am.

When I am weak, unable to speak still I will call you by name

Oh, Shepard, Savior, Pasture Maker, Hold on to my hand.

You say, I am.

The winds of change and circumstance

Blow in and all around us

So we find a foothold that’s familiar.

And bless the moments that we feel you nearer.

When life had begun, I was woven and spun

You let the angels dance around the throne.

Who can say when, but they’ll dance again

When I am free and finally headed home

I will be weak, unable to speak

Still I will call you by nameCreator, Maker, Life Sustainer

Comforter, Healer, My RedeemerLord and King, Beginning and End

I am. I am.

The Passion

2005-02-20T23:37:00.000-08:00

We rode into town the other day

Just me and my Daddy

He said I'd finally reached that age

And I could ride next to him on a horse

That of course was not quite as wide

We heard a crowd of people shouting

And so we stopped to find out why

And there was that man That my dad said he loved

But today there was fear in his eyes

So I said "Daddy, why are they screaming?

Why are the faces of some of them beaming?

Why is He dressed in that bright purple robe?

I'll bet that crown hurts Him more than He shows

Daddy, please can't you do something?

He looks as though He's gonna cry

You said he was stronger than all of those guys

Daddy, please tell me why

Why does everyone want him to die?

"Later that day the sky grew cloudy

And Daddy said I should go inside

Somehow he knew things would get stormy

Boy was he right

But I could not keep from wondering

If there was something he had to hide

So after he left I had to find out

I was not afraid of getting lost

So I followed the crowds

To a hill where I knew men had been killed

And I heard a voice come from the cross

And it said, "Father, why are they screaming?

Why are the faces of some of them beaming?

Why are they casting their lots for My robe?

This crown of thorns hurts Me more than it shows

Father, please can't You do something?

I know that You must hear My cry

I thought I could handle the cross of this size

Father, remind Me why

Why does everyone want Me to die?

When will I understand why?"

"My precious Son, I hear them screaming

I'm watching the face of the enemy beaming

But soon I will clothe You in robes of My own

Jesus, this hurts Me much more than You know

But this dark hour I must do nothing. I’ve heard your unbearable cry

—the power in your blood destroys all the lies, soon you’ll see past their unmerciful eyes.

Look there below see the child trembling by her father’s side.

Now I can tell you why, she is why you must die.

2005-01-31T23:26:00.000-08:00

i sit and listen

i don't hear a sound

i am listening for You

but You seem silent

i listen morei listen harder

i pray

You speak

even Your silence can be deafening

even Your quiet can be loud

Your words light my feet

they guide me

Your words show me the way

without them, i am lost

when i hear You

still and small

strong and loud

help me hear

help me listen

i never got to know you

i never got to meet you

i never got the chance to tell you

how much i love you

i wish i could tell you

how sorry i am

you were in my life

for such a short time

your thoughts were fleeting

your time was brief

stolen from us

not like a thief in the night

but like a killer, raging hatred

i want to cry

maybe die?

it's not right

but i will live

live to love again

but not you

i wish i could tell you

how sorry i am

i wish i could tell you

i love you

2005-01-25T07:25:00.000-08:00

Whatever you vividly imagine,

ardently desire, sincerely believe,

and enthusiastically act upon...

must inevitably come to pass!

2005-01-25T06:54:00.000-08:00

It's late at night they've all gone home
so finally we're all alone
The waiter says we're closing very soon

Still the night's so long
don't wanna say goodbye to you
I've got plans for us tonight
baby that's right

I wanna dance all night long
all alone with you girl
'cos I'm ready for a sweet romance
all alone with you girl

We share the last glass of wine
our hearts are beating in perfect time
wondering who will be the first to say
You know it feels alright
why don't you hold me tight

2005-01-24T07:48:00.000-08:00

An Ode to Serenity

Despite the fleeting joy abundance

You are often tattered and torn

All misery feint redundancy

Your priceless heart weeps and mourns

Innocence so bright and pure

A burning rage onto the sun

In my heart I hold you dear

Yet my actions bring you harm

A harem for me awaitsYet I seek none

Trust for me wanes

Like the silvery rays of the moonless sun

You speak of beauty in the world

Though youâ€™re not the prettiest lassI imagine the way, on your bed, you curl

I shall love you as the sun never rests

2005-01-24T06:18:00.000-08:00

To anyone reading this who has been blessed with the power of hearing

I am sure music has been a powerful influence .

I am yet to meet someone indifferent to the beauty, allure and healing power of music.

Sometimes it’s one of the nicest things ever – just to sit back and let the melody seep into your skin and let the angst or the happiness expressed transform you.

So what exactly is a song? Not just words put to music , but someone’s elation, troubles, confusions, views compounded by notes .

And so they write and they write of things that are intensely personal – of death, of love, of life and in the process each song tells us a little bit about the person writing it …and the song at times becomes a part of ourselves because we relate to it .

So there’s a rush of words floating in on a string of notes ..maybe its poetry played to a violin, maybe its words roared out to a blaring guitar..maybe its just the a few simple notes that sway you.

Read somewhere – silence is the wavelength of the soul.

Find myself at a loss of words to explain what music means to me.

Somedays the gift of being being able to experience such bliss is the greatest gift ..to hear someone show us a patch of their souls accompanied to melody.

If music be the food of love play on play on..

What part of a song moves you the most?

2005-01-24T06:17:00.000-08:00

So when time decided to cast its sweet revenge

we prevented it

with crumpled sheets pickles and words that overflowed in the

end gushing gushing till the words formed unruly patterns of

rhythm and rhyme and i

memorised bemused eyes but didnt

really shatter though

i broke for a few seconds maybe there

were a few cracks those words filled it in but

i dont care those

white walls and unwhirling grimy fan is what

i remember apart

from the obvious so i didnt fall apart though the seams did get a

little frayed and the surprising thing is you did which just brings

me to the illusion that

you're strong and i dont possess the illusion

of forever and because you can melt me down still and because i

really have stopped caring if other people dont get this and in any

case i wouldnt want them to :-)) and the moonbeams are bouncing

off my face though the sky seems disheartened and i

am just glad

that this moment is private not anyone elses and mine alone .

Settled Down Yet?? NOT REALLY!!

2005-01-24T05:33:00.000-08:00

Welcome to my life!! Being in my shoes may help you understand me. It's not easy being me sometimes. you think i led a wonderful life that way you're treating me now? I find myself started relying on you. I don't know when I started relying on you. Everytime I come online I kind of will wait for you to chat with me, and the first thing I'll do is to check if you're is online. I feel very relieve when I talk to you or even chat with you. I know I rely on you too much already but I've never rely on someone so much.I'm going to give you up soon, don't know why, think it's because you always give me this don't care attitude and you won't stand up for me you'll will just sit at one corner and look *ARGH* don't talk about it, it make me feel sad and disappointed.

If it's not what you're made of You're not what I'm looking for
You where willing but unable to give me anymore
There's no way,
You're changing, cause somethings will just never be mine,
You're not love this time ... but it's allright.
I hear you talking, but your words don't mean a thing.
I doubt you ever put your heart into anything.
It's not much to ask for, to get back what I put in,
But I chose the waters that I'm in.
What's your definition of the one
What you really want him to become?
No matter what I sacrifice it's still never enough
Just like I predicted

I will sink before I swim' cause these are the waters that I'm in

Notice me
Take my hand
Why are we Strangers
when Our love is strong
Why carry on without me?

You won't cry for my absence,
I know You forgot me long ago
Am I that unimportant?
Am I so insignificant?
Isn’t someone missing me?

If you said it, and said it clearly
It would be heard by me
If you felt it, felt it in your heart
If your mind inside was like mine
You would find and see me
You would be welcome in my dreams

All of your hopes inside are lonesome
Without me, inside of you
I feel the world calling - I will wait for you
Oh, how you are dear to me
If you knew this you would see, this is the truth
You would be welcome to my dreams
You would be welcome...

Now I see the world
As an ancient place as a smiling face
I can choose to be
What I want to be if I choose to be
Speaking impartiallyIf the smile grows cold without me
I know a secret place to cry, to fly, to try

So soft

the brief touch of your lipson my cheek.

"Look after yourself "

should have been

"I love you!"

Then the Jumbo flew over my head

and I shouted my love above the roar

and thundering thrust. . .

. . . as if you'd hear.

Through the clouds in my eyes

I watched you fly away

and wished I'd been born with wings.

WHy?

2005-01-19T09:10:00.000-08:00

I can almost hear myself bleed internally when I send the msg “I dunno how to make it less hurting for you or me but I’ll have to give you up” My heart just went snap. It’s up for grabs I announced.Silently in me, I know it’s not what it’s meant to be. I have a reason for doing it.
You say my decisions are made by me. And then you didn’t want me to give you up.If I really really like you, I’ll wait for you even if it takes forever. But why didn’t you stop me when I initiated it? You went ahead with my decision. It doesn’t show that you actually cared. But well, the times we spend together is really memorable. I cant still taste your lips. Feel your heartbeat against mine. We had alot of problems but it’s really worth learning. You’re the only person who have ever made me cry. I never cried for a girl before.that’s why you’re so memorable.
Well, I chose this decision because I figured that you need time on your own to sort out your feelings as you always tell me you’re confused. Time without me around putting the pressure on you so that you can make the most out of everything. This is the reason why I waited. And I’ll still wait for your answer. Never will I give you up the way you interpreted it.
So this is it. It all ends here. I’ll be quietly waiting somewhere for you. Bidding you the best. Thinking of you. It may sound crazy but I’m willing to do it for you. TE QUIERO MUCHO!!

A Few Days Account

2005-01-13T20:15:00.000-08:00

It's offically done as i have exert mt body too much. bruises here and there. cuts on palms and legs. muscle pulling everytime i try to run. haiz! what's going on? neway, alot have been happening and that you know,some worth recording down, some worthless to even remember.
this are some thing that happened in the course of the week.

Catechists Retreat 2005

Saturday
It was in the morning that I will get to see who will be going for this retreat. Hardly know any adults there except Grandpa and Grandma, Aunty Diana, and Aunty Theresa. But well, giving out the prayer books helped me introduce myself better. First impressions count I think. I mingled well with them easily even though I was reluctant to start a conversation with the adults.
Preoccupied with my book, I didn’t really notice what happened in the ferry. But from then on, after we alighted, I wondered what surprises were installed for me. This being the first time overseas without my family, friends, I felt lonely.
Arriving at the resort, I was taken by surprise. Whoever said this was a retreat has made a big mistake! Who has retreats at a resort like this? Haha! We were all moved to a room as quickly as we came. Briefing was done in the room. I WAS TO DO THE FIRST SESSION!! -shocked- well, there’s always a first time for everything so I did not think so much about it.
The First Session
I must say it was simple.

29th & 30th

2004-12-30T01:16:00.000-08:00

yesterday i was in church.packing tables into the containers that will be sent to batam.how exciting!!!bruised all over.Porky landed a plank on my feet. *ouch* now that's painful!! bruises on my arm from all the carrying. *ouch* after all that hard work. i went town with my school mates (bestest friends)wahaha! first thing i saw them, ying huey let me eat nasty stuff. cheese that tastes like 'cheese'!! hehez. we met suet then went for lunch at cineleisure.japanese food!! *yummy*i couldn't finish the food i bought.so yeah!! enuff of the fun making. after that we went walking around. totally craziness!! we saw what we thought was hazel's bf!!but instead it turned out that hazel was two timing. *gosh* so drama mama!! hehez. after all that walking which was tiring, all of us decided to have ice cream!! who on earth buys ice cream at paragon? *me* hahaz!! after ice cream, we went to catch a movie!! -meet the fockers- *laughs out loud* cannot tahan though certain parts a lil sick. oh wells, afetr movie, we went to bishan. tired but tagged along. why? cos it's with my friends. dun see them everyday.i had a 2week license driver to fetch me home.WOW!! hahaz!! on the point i reached home, i made noodles to eat b4 falling asleep!!

woke up as early as 0930hrs to come all the way to admiratly to play basketball?? ironic that there is a basketball court right near my house and i dun even use it. After basketball, we went 888(triple 8) to have lunch.Dora was super duperly noisy.hahaz.after lunch, jeremy & myself went over to dora's house. the introduction of soft toys began.we were introduced to pinky and onenabe(if it's spelt this way).hahaz.then, we waited till almost an hour b4 dora actually could leave the house looking presentable.wow!!we took a taxi over to choa chu kang. drop me at my place first b4 they went over to jeremy's place.hahaz.i took my own sweet time showering b4 going over to jeremy's place then proceeding to biswas house.aunty joanna sent us to his place.first thing when i was at the house, i was offered a drink.gulped it down too fast.face went red, head went hot.headaches started coming.*ahhhahahahahaha* didnt help my da jie -jill- to do some stuff in church. so guilty.haiz.then while stoning away for the next one hour, we watched the one. a jet li movie that rocks i think.hahazafter dinner and partying at biswas place, we played tai ti.of course i won.. i cheated without them finding out too.hahahaz.after leaving biswas place, aunty joanna sent christie back.so dark and gloomy her place.hahaz.when i reached home, i slept.zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz......

ReFLecTioNs

2004-12-29T20:39:00.000-08:00